On not Getting Paid

For the last eight years, I’ve been a brand ambassador and paid public speaker. Sometimes I compose my own talks, other times, I have a discussion guide to follow. I know that everything is in the guide for a reason, and if I analyze each story beat and its purpose I can commit copy points to memory. That way, when I get up on stage I speak naturally and come alive.

 Let me put it this way: of the hundreds in the audience, nobody’s on their phone. (At least that’s what my “handlers” tell me.)

Ok, so there’s usually a middle man, or a speaker’s bureau who handles travel, hotel, logistics and ultimately, payment. But what if the check never comes? 

That’s the position I found myself in last year. The person handling my account kept telling me she’d submitted my invoice and to just be patient. Then she stopped returning my emails and calls. Soon, it was four months since that particular engagement, and deep down in my gut, I knew my paperwork had been either lost or forgotten.

At this point, reaching out to remind her caused violent emotions because I knew my messages and emails would be ignored. Each time I picked up the phone I felt like I was gripping a gun, that I’d go off. I guess I find it hard to ask for things. In this case, “groveling” was more like it. 

Because of skills I’d learned in DBT, I took a step back and tried to think globally. How busy was my handler? Were there other brand ambassadors working for this company who weren’t getting paid?

I GOOGLED IT. 

A listing for Glassdoor came up, showing employee reviews on what it was like to work at that patient ambassador company. 

Guess what one of them said? “It’s a great atmosphere, fast-paced and exciting, but with three times the work one human being could possibly do.” 

Wow. 

I wondered if my “handler” needed more support. The next thing I knew, they’d put another person to assist her on the account but the check still hadn’t come. EVEN THOUGH I ASKED. 

“I’ll look into it” I was told for the 10th time. 

My next global move was to tell myself “Allison, you don’t know everything about this situation,” and “This is a growth experience.” Those affirmations kept me sane. Barely. 

One of my problems was that I didn’t know who the account manager were, probably because they didn’t want me to. But I persisted and called a few senior staff members using the magic words, “I’m losing my mind and NEED MORE SUPPORT.” The manager stepped in, processed my expenses and payment and the check arrived two weeks later. I wish I’d done that before, but it took all the tools in my toolkit to ride this experience out. 

Here’s the kicker: At the start of 2025, my actual employers fired the middle man company. Boy was I relieved. I wondered if my handler had lost her job, but then told myself it wasn’t my problem. 

Next time, I’ll try to think globally, holistically and systemically from the outset and remember those magic words, “I need more support.” Because they worked.